Giving praise is one of the true joys of line management. It’s up there with seeing somebody secure a hard-earned promotion, or calling a hopeful interviewee to make them a job offer.
But having difficult conversations with employees about poor performance, attitude or behaviour is something that many line managers desperately hope to avoid.
How should you handle difficult conversations with your social care team?
Keep reading to discover:
- Why trust is the foundation for having difficult conversations
- How to have a difficult conversation: a step-by-step guide
- What to do if a difficult conversation turns into a conflict
- Tips for avoiding difficult conversations at work altogether
Why open and honest communication matters
What makes difficult conversations so difficult? The simple answer is that they make us feel uncomfortable, regardless of which side of the conversation we’re on.
Giving and receiving criticism can evoke strong emotions, from anger and guilt to isolation and inadequacy – any one of which can make us become defensive or withdrawn.
A culture of trust is the antidote to this.
Trust removes any suspicion about your intentions when you give constructive feedback, making it easier for the recipient to respond positively and find a resolution.
How to have a difficult conversation with an employee: a step-by-step guide
Building trust is partly about being open and honest in your communication with the team. Here’s how to bring that transparency and integrity into your difficult conversations.
Don’t sit on it
Act quickly on specific incidents by arranging a conversation as soon as you spot the need for one. Delaying will only leave the door open for more unwanted behaviour to creep in, or to misunderstandings about events that are no longer fresh in the memory.
Be specific about facts
What happened, and why is it a problem? Which policies or values were violated? What evidence is there to support your argument? Don’t let the conversation turn to personality traits or differences of opinion. Keep things objective, fair and constructive.
Control your emotions
Patience is an essential soft skill for working in social care, but it’s vital for managing in the sector too. Some people will react strongly to your criticism. Responding with impatience, frustration or a lack of empathy will only make a positive outcome less likely.
Ask questions and listen
A difficult conversation that’s all one-way isn’t a conversation, it’s a lecture. Ask your employee how they feel about what happened and your summary of it. You may find they’ve already reflected on the incident, and acknowledged their need to improve.
Find the way forward together
Remember, you’re having this conversation to make things better. The best resolution is a collaborative one, so approach the conversation in this spirit. ‘How do you think we can improve things?’ may be the most powerful question you could ask.
Always follow up afterwards
Trust is a two-way street, and it isn’t just about communication. It’s also about making promises and delivering on them. Check in after the meeting with notes on what was discussed and agreed. Demonstrate your commitment to helping things improve.
Difficult conversations at work examples
Scenario 1: Poor performance
Instead of this:
“You’re not closing off your shifts properly, and it’s putting resident safety at risk. You need to start taking more ownership.”
Try this:
“I noticed you didn’t properly brief the person taking over from you before you left yesterday. If you don’t hand over the right information at the end of each shift, residents can miss out on the care they need. Respecting this responsibility is a key part of our ‘Take ownership’ value. Would it be helpful if I show you what an effective handover looks like?”
Scenario 2: Persistent lateness
Instead of this:
“You were late on 12 days out of 20 last month, and it’s not fair on the rest of the team. You need to start getting here on time.”
Try this:
“I noticed you were at least 10 minutes late for three of your shifts this week, which is unlike you. At the moment, you’re on 8.30 starts and it’s important that you’re ready to start at that time. If you’re not, the person you’re taking over from has to stay later. Is there something that’s making it hard for you to get here on time that you’d like to discuss?”
Scenario 3: Confrontational attitude
Instead of this:
“You sent a really unhelpful email yesterday to the whole company, and it’s put me in an awkward position with my boss. You need to stop being so negative all the time.”
Try this:
“Yesterday, you ‘replied all’ to our Director’s email about the proposed change to our Resident Safeguarding Policy – making it very clear that you’re opposed to those changes. I’d like to remind you of your responsibilities under our Email Usage Policy, and ask you to direct operational concerns to me in the first instance, in future. Would you like to discuss your thoughts on these changes, so that I can better understand them and feed them back to our senior management team?”
How to avoid difficult work conversations entirely
Well, perhaps they can’t be avoided entirely. But there are measures you can take to help reduce the number of difficult conversations you have with your team members.
Reinforce your expectations
When employees fall short of expectations, it’s important to ask: did they know there was something to fall short of? Providing clear and regular information on policies and values is essential if you expect people to understand and meet the right standards.
Create a feedback culture
When you create a feedback culture, employees get used to giving and receiving constructive criticism all the time. This way, conversations about performance are neither surprising nor scary – they’re just a routine part of your working relationship.
Foster strong team relationships
As a line manager, you have a duty of care to your direct reports. But that doesn’t mean you’re their only source of constructive feedback. Difficult conversations can be avoided if colleagues feel able to share feedback with their peers without damaging their relationships.
Embed continuous learning
When people feel that they’re being invested in, they often produce better work with greater enthusiasm. Continuous learning is a great way to raise morale and performance levels – and avoid the performance and behavioural issues that lead to difficult conversations.
Empower your team to learn with FuturU – book a demo today →
