Care work is incredibly rewarding. But it can also be emotionally and professionally challenging.
Difficult conversations are inevitable, whether it’s addressing concerns with a colleague, discussing sensitive topics with clients and their families, or navigating a conflict with your manager.
While challenging, difficult conversations are often necessary for addressing important issues, improving the quality of care you provide, and ensuring you’re happy at work.
In this article, we’ll explore:
- Why you might need to have a difficult conversation in care work
- Why you might dread difficult conversations
- The benefits of having difficult conversations
- How to have a difficult conversation, and what to do if it doesn’t go to plan.
Why you might need to have a difficult conversation in care work
There’s plenty of reasons why you might need to have a difficult conversation as a care worker. Here’s a handful of examples:
Teamwork challenges
- You have differing approaches to your job
- You’re understaffed and overworked
- You have a misunderstanding
- A colleague behaves inappropriately.
Management issues
- You don’t feel supported by your manager
- You’re unclear on responsibilities and expectations
- You have insufficient resources or inadequate training
- You’ve received disappointing feedback
- You’re lacking career growth opportunities
- You want to ask for a pay rise
- You made a mistake
- You’ve decided to leave
- You’re burned out.
Client-related issues
- You need to address challenging behaviours, such as aggression or self-harm
- You need to discuss a sensitive topic, like palliative care or grief
- Your client or their family has a complaint
- There is a clash of opinions relating to a client’s care
- You’re facing an ethical dilemma, for example client autonomy.
It’s normal to dread difficult conversations
If you’re nervous to have a difficult conversation with a colleague, manager or client, you’re not alone. Many care professionals are naturally empathetic, preferring to avoid conflict. And let’s face it, nobody likes conflict!
You may be worried about upsetting a client or their family, or concerned about the impact your conversation might have on team dynamics and professional relationships.
It’s totally natural to feel nervous approaching a difficult conversation, or to want to avoid them altogether. But honesty matters, and there are plenty of benefits to having a difficult conversation.
Here’s just a few:
- You can resolve issues head on
- You can develop closer relationships with colleagues, managers, clients and their families
- You’ll build confidence and communication skills
- You might avoid a confrontation.
Sounds good, right? If you’re ready to have a difficult conversation, here’s how to approach it.
How to have a difficult conversation
Before you have the conversation
Plan what you want to say, and let the person you want to have a difficult conversation with know what you’d like to discuss in advance, if you can.
Keep your invitation simple and to the point, briefly outlining what you want to discuss. And ensure the conversation is scheduled for a time and place that’s private and convenient for you both – you want to be confident you have their full attention.
While it’s easier said than done, try to keep an open mind about the conversation. Avoid predicting the outcome or catastrophising. Instead, use the time you have before a difficult conversation to gather your thoughts and plan out what you’d like to say.
If you’ll find it helpful, note down the points and facts you’d like to cover to refer to during the conversation, and prepare any necessary documentation such as client notes or incident reports. And consider how the person you’re talking to might react – can you see things from their perspective too?
During the conversation
Always begin the conversation with empathy and respect. Be clear and concise, expressing your concerns directly. And maintain eye contact as best you can.
If you’re having a conversation about something that’s impacting you directly (for example, feeling overworked or undersupported) use ‘I’ statements to keep the conversation focused on your own feelings and experience.
Always keep your tone neutral, and avoid raising your voice or using accusatory language. If you feel yourself getting angry, stressed or emotional, take a breath and focus on speaking slowly. You can always take a break and come back to the conversation later if you need to.
Remember that you’re having a conversation, so listen actively to the other person. When it’s their turn to speak, avoid interrupting and give them your full attention. If something doesn’t make sense, ask for clarification.
If you can reach a resolution during the conversation, great, but don’t expect one straightaway. At the very least though, you should come away feeling that you’ve said what you needed to say and with a clear idea of the next steps.
Make a record of the conversation, including key points, agreed upon-actions and timelines.
If the conversation doesn’t go to plan
If the conversation doesn’t go the way you expected, there’s several things you can do depending on the situation. You might need to schedule a follow-up, or bring in a mediator. If lines of communication are closed completely, speak to someone else, such as a manager or neutral third party.
